I'm going to make one horror of a confession: I can't stand Christmas, and the New Year always makes me queasy. Now, before you go off and grab staple guns to stick me to the nearest Christmas tree while screaming 'HAPPY NEW YEAR ALIVIA, HAPPY NEW YEARRRRR!' let me explain why.
Think back to NaNo, back when November was running along and everyone you knew was fueled on coffee, Mountain Dew or whatever tea you sipped repeatedly from the testing kettles inside Tevana. Or maybe that was just me. We all hung over our computers and pen and paper, scribbling as furiously as we could manage to hit that 50k word count and declare ourselves victorious.
And somewhere along those lines, I failed.
The build-up to my idea for my NaNo novel fell completely flat on its face. And when I say it fell on its face, I mean it ate dirt, coughed it up, and ate it again. I hit only several thousand into it and choked as if a hot dog lodged itself in my throat. No matter how hard I coughed it wouldn't come out, and somewhere in the midst of that never-ending choking nightmare November ended.
What a mess, right? Humiliation is the only word I can properly use for the situation. I was actually afraid to visit the NaNo boards, my blog, Twitter (I'm coming back there, FYI, I promise) anywhere that I was connected to people who knew of my writing journey. I felt like if I shared my failure notice with everyone that they'd all walk away and leave me alone, forced to play endless hours of FarmVille with myself.
It's okay, I told myself. I'll just go back on tomorrow and move past it. The calendar told me it was only December 5th. I could still come back from that, right?
It's January 1st now. I took a whole month of sweating things out (and one random semi-tipsy promise to myself to blog every two days from here on out unless I'm struck by lightning or eaten by a shark) to bring myself back here, man up (do you really man up if you're a woman?) and do everything I was supposed to do weeks ago in the next six days.
See, if I remember right, Illumine, my little book of pure passion and love, is publishing digitally in six days. Yes, six. Print I'm guessing will be in another month depending on how much I play with the cover and the format types (and also it depends on how much sleep I'm willing to sacrifice this week). That means I have six days to upload my page on here, send queries to book reviewers online, double-check the manuscript and still have time to see family/friends/random pet.
Bring it on 2012, you don't scare me.